Tuesday June 22, 2020

Our eyes. Our eyes are pretty remarkable. They allow us to use this amazing sense some of us are lucky to have, to take in everything around us by sight. But not only are our eyes amazing for sight, they can be so much more. Have you ever looked a person in the eyes and knew what they were thinking at that exact moment? Like their eyes become a window into their minds? It’s just amazing these days with everyone’s faces covered up by masks, we are seeing everyone’s eyes so much more.  Not that we weren’t seeing their eyes before, but that’s all we have on someone’s face to see.  Sure, we look our loved ones in the eyes or friends when we talk, but how often have you been in a store or met someone new and paid attention to what their eyes are saying? I’m not sure I ever really have. And I know you can sense someone smiling, or maybe fuming, behind the mask they have on but if you pay attention to a person’s eyes, that’s where it’s at. Something amazing happened today. I saw someone’s emotions, a total stranger’s emotions through their eyes. And it was about me and my cancer journey and this person’s eyes just said a million words.

This afternoon I’m sitting in an exam room at my plastic surgeon’s office just waiting for a follow up exam and the nurse comes in and we started chatting. Before the doctor comes in, this nurse informs me that there is a new intern that just started in their practice, she’s 19 years old, interested in cancer care, and asks me if it would be ok if this intern were to come in with my doctor. She was following all Covid-19 protocols and wearing a mask as well so I said of course. With my experience this past year and a half, I’m an open book and in my opinion, this world always needs more people who want to go into the “cancer care” field.

So, in they walk and my doctor greets me as usual and then introduces their intern. I was told that this intern was briefed a bit on my story and background. That was great for me because I didn’t have to go into detail about my journey right then and I could answer any questions she had. My doctor examines me and explains a few things about my skin and how the radiated side looks different from the non radiated side. My doctor goes over a few self care things I need to do at home to help with my wound healing and asks this intern if she had any questions. She said no. But she kept looking at me. Looking at me kindly. All I could see were her eyes. And as she looked at me, I looked at her... this young 19 year old girl, and reiterated that I am an open book and she could ask me anything. She kindly continued to look at me, said no she had no questions and in that brief 20 or so seconds, her eyes seemed to say everything she was thinking in that moment. If her eyes could speak, to me they said sorry, wow, you are brave,  I can’t believe what you’ve had to go through, and so much more- all at the same time. And not that I need anyone to say those things to me, it was just nice and from a complete stranger. I know wearing these masks are a hard thing to get used to, but I’ve been doing it since this all started back in March because had to keep all my doctor appointments. Life of a cancer patient, even a “free of disease” one, still goes on even when the world stops.

So the next time you wear a mask out and you have a conversation with someone else wearing a mask, pay attention to their eyes. It opens up a whole new way of communicating. 😊