Friday February 15, 2019
Why is it when people get upset or mad at something they think you did that offended them, instead of talking about it civilly, their first instinct is to cut you off? I’ve never understood that. I mean if cutting negative people out is something you need to do then by all means, I get it. But I’m talking about when someone feels that you’ve wronged them, instead of hearing what you have to say, it’s just an immediate “we’ll we are done”. And I’m not just talking family, but friendships. Dear friendships that you thought were so strong but one thing goes wrong and it’s goodbye forever. Pictures popped up today in my TimeHop and was from my surprise bridal shower that was 10 years ago today. And some of the people in those pictures, we no longer speak. And today it makes me sad. Sad for me and for my husband. And then that got me thinking to another friendship ended wrongly. I don’t know if it’s all the meds I’m hopped up on but I began to think how much I missed that friendship too. And you know what I did? I reached out. Why not. After all these years, all the things we’ve missed in each other’s lives, why not. I’m all about making amends these days. You just really never know where life is going to take you and I’d rather know I tried once more.
I just want all my friends today to know if we ever don’t like something that one of us did, let’s just be open about it. No great friendships should ever have to end over a difference of opinion because we are all allowed to think differently. The most important part is to accept that you’ve hurt someone, apologize, and figure out a way to move on together. If there were hurts on both sides, well it’s understandable- everyone has disagreements and their own feelings. That’s life. The most important thing is to not make them look bad to anyone else. What’s between you two should be it. Judging and spreading negative things about people you don’t agree with is just as bad and hurtful.
I reached out to those few people I haven’t spoken to in almost 5-8 years or so. If even if it only remains in hey hope you are well, that will suffice.
I’m putting this out there because maybe they’ll see this since I know they read from time to time. At least I can say once again I tried. That’s all I can do.
Thanks for reading!
💗💪🏻🙏
Friday, February 15, 2019
Saturday, February 9, 2019
Saturday February 9, 2019
Hi! So a lot of you have been asking about my treatments so I figured I’d post about it. I don’t mind talking about it at all. So if you want to know- here it is. So I’m currently receiving 2 chemo meds, which are given by an infusion, adryamicin and cytoxol, known as the a/c treatment and this happens every 2 weeks. So far I’ve had 2 infusions of this and I go for my 3rd this coming Wednesday. Takes about 2 hrs to do and then I go home. My oncologist has an infusion room right in the same building so I don’t have to go to the hospital. Then the Neulasta, which helps with my white blood cells, is placed on in a container that has adhesive and is placed on my stomach right after my infusion. This is what self injects at home about 27 hours after my infusion. Takes about an hour and then that’s it. It’s just all the meds in me and the side effects that take about a week to recover from. So Wednesday I get an infusion, Thursday evening Neulasta goes off. Then Friday is absolutely horrific and then I slowly come back little by little. By Tuesday I’m better and by Wednesday I’m back to myself. So it takes about a week to fully recover. In between treatments, on that Wednesday that I’m back to myself, I go for bloodwork and a checkup with my oncologist. So after my 4th treatment of this a/c I go back for scans to see if hopefully everything is going according to plan and the tumors are shrinking. Then I also meet with my surgeon. No matter what, even if my tumors are shrinking and everything is going according to plan, I still have to complete more chemo, but with a different infusion which will be once a week for 12 more weeks. After all my infusions are done, that’s when my surgery will happen. So that’s that. And I really don’t mind talking about anything so if at anytime you have any questions about what I found or my treatments definitely feel free to ask. And thanks again so much for all of your support! It really helps so much. 😊💗💪🏻
Hi! So a lot of you have been asking about my treatments so I figured I’d post about it. I don’t mind talking about it at all. So if you want to know- here it is. So I’m currently receiving 2 chemo meds, which are given by an infusion, adryamicin and cytoxol, known as the a/c treatment and this happens every 2 weeks. So far I’ve had 2 infusions of this and I go for my 3rd this coming Wednesday. Takes about 2 hrs to do and then I go home. My oncologist has an infusion room right in the same building so I don’t have to go to the hospital. Then the Neulasta, which helps with my white blood cells, is placed on in a container that has adhesive and is placed on my stomach right after my infusion. This is what self injects at home about 27 hours after my infusion. Takes about an hour and then that’s it. It’s just all the meds in me and the side effects that take about a week to recover from. So Wednesday I get an infusion, Thursday evening Neulasta goes off. Then Friday is absolutely horrific and then I slowly come back little by little. By Tuesday I’m better and by Wednesday I’m back to myself. So it takes about a week to fully recover. In between treatments, on that Wednesday that I’m back to myself, I go for bloodwork and a checkup with my oncologist. So after my 4th treatment of this a/c I go back for scans to see if hopefully everything is going according to plan and the tumors are shrinking. Then I also meet with my surgeon. No matter what, even if my tumors are shrinking and everything is going according to plan, I still have to complete more chemo, but with a different infusion which will be once a week for 12 more weeks. After all my infusions are done, that’s when my surgery will happen. So that’s that. And I really don’t mind talking about anything so if at anytime you have any questions about what I found or my treatments definitely feel free to ask. And thanks again so much for all of your support! It really helps so much. 😊💗💪🏻
Sunday, February 3, 2019
February 3, 2019- 19 days into treatment
I’ve been awake since 5:15 this morning, partly because I became so restless because I’ve been sleeping so much, as I fell asleep on the couch again last night around 7pm slept through anything going on with my kids and went into bed myself around 9, but partly because what’s left of my hair is EVERYWHERE and for the past 2 days it’s been all over everything. I’m rolling in it, literally eating it. As I try to stay asleep I brush my pillow off, lint roll it, lay back down. I still feel it. Pulling strands off my face, off of my pillow, my blanket. All day all over my clothes, couches, leaning against towels when I sit on the couch. These hairs are everywhere. All over. I put a towel down over top of my pillow this morning. Maybe that will help. Nope. It’s 7:20am now and I’ve made a decision- today is the day. Today is the day my hair goes for good. I can’t take clumps of hair in the shower. I can’t take strands everywhere. I’m just prolonging the inevitable so let’s just get this done with. And there’s really not much left to my head off hair now anyways. Matthew is ok with it as we’ve been preparing him for awhile but he does not want to be involved. So today my kids will be out for the day and Jason will help me. I have to do it. It’s not going to take me over. I’m in control of this part. And I’m ok with it. I know hair means nothing. But just another hurdle to jump over with this nasty sickness. So today is goodbye hair day. I have head scarves ready and at least it’s winter and I can still wear winter hats.....💗💪🏻🙏
And if any of you think you are having a bad hair day today.... (Just kidding... sort of...have to make light somehow).
I’ve been awake since 5:15 this morning, partly because I became so restless because I’ve been sleeping so much, as I fell asleep on the couch again last night around 7pm slept through anything going on with my kids and went into bed myself around 9, but partly because what’s left of my hair is EVERYWHERE and for the past 2 days it’s been all over everything. I’m rolling in it, literally eating it. As I try to stay asleep I brush my pillow off, lint roll it, lay back down. I still feel it. Pulling strands off my face, off of my pillow, my blanket. All day all over my clothes, couches, leaning against towels when I sit on the couch. These hairs are everywhere. All over. I put a towel down over top of my pillow this morning. Maybe that will help. Nope. It’s 7:20am now and I’ve made a decision- today is the day. Today is the day my hair goes for good. I can’t take clumps of hair in the shower. I can’t take strands everywhere. I’m just prolonging the inevitable so let’s just get this done with. And there’s really not much left to my head off hair now anyways. Matthew is ok with it as we’ve been preparing him for awhile but he does not want to be involved. So today my kids will be out for the day and Jason will help me. I have to do it. It’s not going to take me over. I’m in control of this part. And I’m ok with it. I know hair means nothing. But just another hurdle to jump over with this nasty sickness. So today is goodbye hair day. I have head scarves ready and at least it’s winter and I can still wear winter hats.....💗💪🏻🙏
And if any of you think you are having a bad hair day today.... (Just kidding... sort of...have to make light somehow).
Friday, February 1, 2019
February 1, 2019- Day 17 into treatment
A few of you messaged me already. And I might not be answering everyone so I’ll post here. And I’m going to be honest. Today I feel like absolute crap. 2 days after my second infusion and about 15 hours after my nuelasta injection and yep I am definitely joining in on this tribe of women who have unfortunately gone through the A/C treatment. Neulasta went off at about 4:45pm last night and by 6:30pm I was asleep on the couch. Slept through my kids eating dinner, baths, showers, bedtime. Then I woke up and went into my own bed and slept until about 6am this morning. This morning my eyes opened but I couldn’t move at all. I lay there for an hour thinking about how the hell I was going to get myself up. I didn’t want to move a muscle in my body. Not that it hurts, I just feel awful. I mean I didn’t have to get up but Matthew was getting ready for school and I wanted to see him before he left and I gotta stay strong so I decided on the count of three I was getting myself into a hot shower. Counted to 3 and I did it. Got in the shower and that’s where I started pulling out clumps and clumps of hair. Pardon my language but this s^*t is getting real now. I mean it was real when I went for my infusions, but for awhile I didn’t look sick. Now I’ll look the part. And I know I’ll look fine and no hair doesn’t define me. It’s just another step in this craziness that I’m just not really looking forward to. I was ready and waiting for this time to come, but as ready as you are doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with some disappointment and sorrow. You deal with it and get on with it. So I did just that. And as much as it sucked seeing my hair fall out, it just means that the chemo is working. Gotta see the positives. Saw Matthew off to school, my mom is here helping with Ryan and I’m back in my bed and I’m not sure how much I’ll be moving today. Just queasy and yucky are the words. But this just means the chemo is working... finding the positives in all of this and continuing staying strong.
💗💪🏻
A few of you messaged me already. And I might not be answering everyone so I’ll post here. And I’m going to be honest. Today I feel like absolute crap. 2 days after my second infusion and about 15 hours after my nuelasta injection and yep I am definitely joining in on this tribe of women who have unfortunately gone through the A/C treatment. Neulasta went off at about 4:45pm last night and by 6:30pm I was asleep on the couch. Slept through my kids eating dinner, baths, showers, bedtime. Then I woke up and went into my own bed and slept until about 6am this morning. This morning my eyes opened but I couldn’t move at all. I lay there for an hour thinking about how the hell I was going to get myself up. I didn’t want to move a muscle in my body. Not that it hurts, I just feel awful. I mean I didn’t have to get up but Matthew was getting ready for school and I wanted to see him before he left and I gotta stay strong so I decided on the count of three I was getting myself into a hot shower. Counted to 3 and I did it. Got in the shower and that’s where I started pulling out clumps and clumps of hair. Pardon my language but this s^*t is getting real now. I mean it was real when I went for my infusions, but for awhile I didn’t look sick. Now I’ll look the part. And I know I’ll look fine and no hair doesn’t define me. It’s just another step in this craziness that I’m just not really looking forward to. I was ready and waiting for this time to come, but as ready as you are doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with some disappointment and sorrow. You deal with it and get on with it. So I did just that. And as much as it sucked seeing my hair fall out, it just means that the chemo is working. Gotta see the positives. Saw Matthew off to school, my mom is here helping with Ryan and I’m back in my bed and I’m not sure how much I’ll be moving today. Just queasy and yucky are the words. But this just means the chemo is working... finding the positives in all of this and continuing staying strong.
💗💪🏻
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