September 14th 2019

Everything happens for a reason....
How many of you hear that often?? I do. I’ve heard it countless times. But when something bad happens, who wants to actually believe that? That this bad was meant to be. Unless, you are so fortunate to be able to find the good in that bad. Well, somehow, most times, I have been fortunate enough to be able to find the good in the bad. It’s just something I’ve always been able to do. And with some time to myself tonight that I really needed, I was able to think and reflect, and I can honestly say that along this path that I’ve been on for these past several months, I’ve found some good along the way and now I think I’ve found some more good that can come out of my bad. And I need your help and I’ll explain why...

I’ll start off by saying that I always knew I was meant to help people in some way. I’ve always had the ability to read people really well, to listen without judgement,
and to take other sides of a situation into account. At a young age I knew I wanted to work in a profession that could help people in some way. I didn’t know what that was but I tested the waters in many different areas. And, not to toot my own horn, but I felt pretty confident in all areas I tried. So deciding which path to choose became so much harder.

To me there’s always been an interest as to how the mind works. The mind, personality and behavior have always all been quite intriguing to me. So upon entering college I decided to pursue an education in psychology. I actually have a bachelors degree in psychology and although I came to a realization that a career in child psychology was of interest to me, I never actually got to continue in that avenue. Other life stuff got in the way. So I ended up on a different path.

I was just 20 years old when I started working in the early childhood field. I took care of babies as young as 6 months old to teaching children just about 5 years of age, right before they were ready for kindergarten. I followed this path for several years. It was over the course of these few years that I knew I was meant to work with children in some aspect. It just came so easy to me. I felt, just like I could do with anyone, that I could read children easily and I could come to understand them so well in such a short amount of time. At such a young age, as just an assistant teacher, I was able to help teach these children and was able to gain their respect, all at the same time. I could be fun, but when it was time to learn, it was time and they knew it. It was just a knack I had. And I still do to this day.

From then on I continued to work with children in different areas, ultimately becoming employed as a classroom teacher in a public school district. I love to help children, to help them to see their potential and to reach their goals. For all intents and purposes, I am like their 2nd parent for the day and will treat any child as if they were my own, every single day.

Through my love of children, I found that during my later years, I knew I was always meant to be a mother. Having a knack with children who weren’t my own, only made me want to have children of my own so much more. And now that I do, I can say being able to parent and raise my own kids thus far, the way I always knew I wanted to, has been the ultimate reward. My kids are my world. And even though we had our first child easily, there was a time when we didn’t know if we would be able to have a 2nd. And even though we had a first child, not being able to have our family completed with a second child was absolutely devastating, as it should be if that’s what is desired. Finally 3 years later, our 2nd baby was born and everything I had prayed for was here. I learned to be thankful with our first baby and I thought I knew what gratitude was back then, but it was at that moment of our 2nd baby being born, that I really, thought I knew what being grateful was. Until 7 months after he was born and I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. Then, again, my whole perspective changed.

I’m giving all of this information and back story so that I can shed some light as to where I’m coming from today. It all goes hand in hand. Everything happens for a reason, right? So now, it’s December 2018 and I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I’ve ever asked for and then, I’m diagnosed with breast cancer. Are you (sorry) f*%\ing kidding me? Talk about a curve ball.

Throughout my journey so far, I haven’t dwelled so much. I’ve been able to overcome my struggles, I’ve fought and I’ve helped. I know I have the support from my own family and friends, but sought out support from groups and people who have been where I stand and within the support groups I now go to once a month, I’ve found those people. We call ourselves the friends we’ve never wanted to have. Because we found each other, young and old, because of breast cancer.  I go to three different groups and they all are important to me, just as an AA group would be super important for an alcoholic, because these are people who can relate to everything I’m feeling and am going through. I’ve been so proactive in taking control of what I can take control of and I’ve even been asked to help newly diagnosed younger women, as if I am an  experienced alumni to these groups. But, I’m not. I’m still in active treatment. I’ve done my research though, have been my own advocate when needed, listened to doctors, gotten multiple professional opinions, I ask questions when I don’t understand something, and am not afraid to sound stupid or naive, AND, yes the biggest achievement throughout this entire process so far, with much help, I’ve been able to parent and navigate this with 2 very young children.

With that being said, when I was first diagnosed, the thought of going through any of this was absolutely beyond terrifying but that was magnetized even more so because my children were babies, our youngest being just 7 months old. Working with young children for so many years and my background in child psychology gave me the ability to be able to help coach my husband through telling our 4 year old, just what he needed to know, but this was all new territory, for the both of us. It was then that I knew I needed to be proactive in finding ways to navigate this with young children. I googled, I found websites and online groups, but to me, nothing is better than coming face to face and having an actual discussion or reading a book by someone who’s encountered similar situations, but every book I came across just stated the ways to look for the positives or to be grateful or how to be happy. I didn’t need that. The people I came across in my groups that I love are absolutely amazing, but most of them are older. They didn’t go through this with young children or were unfortunately younger than me and didn’t even have any children yet. I couldn’t find anyone who was like me. And then I found younger mothers just like me, but just like me they were trying, and are still trying to navigate. There’s really nothing out there solely for young mothers with kids or mothers with kids or young kids. And as cancer doesn’t discriminate, nor does it differentiate, I’m finding that the support that I need, or needed a few months ago definitely differs from others who are older or who don’t have children.

So everything happens for a reason, I’ll say again because I had the ability to reach out to those few younger moms diagnosed with cancer, like me that I now know, and we are all in agreement that the support that I’m describing is something that they could’ve used or could still use and I’ve decided that I’m going to try to help and do something about that. I want to help guide those other newly diagnosed young moms. And as I haven’t thought everything out yet, and this is a relatively new idea, I’m close to putting into action. So this is where you all come in. Unfortunately breast cancer in younger women is becoming very, very common and there are so many being diagnosed now with young kids and most of us unfortunately know one or two or maybe more. If you know of anyone, any young mother either newly diagnosed, diagnosed and going through treatment, or a survivor with young kids and might need support or would want to offer support to others and wouldn’t mind sharing their stories, please put them in contact with me if they wouldn’t mind!! Email me, fb message me, text me, call me!! If you need contact info, let me know!

Everything happens for a reason and I’m DETERMINED more than ever to find all the good in this madness.

Thanks for reading and for your continuous love and support!!!!

💗💪🏻🙏