January 27, 2020

Live, Love, Laugh....

Those are 3 words that are on our wall inside our house. On a wall in our foyer. Hanging right above a storage bench where the kids get ready with their shoes and jackets and hats. Yesterday, while getting ready to leave the house, Matthew looked up at it and asked me what it says.  I read it to him. “Wow, mommy,” he says. “We do that. We live here, we love each other and we definitely laugh a lot.” He’s absolutely right. And those are the 3 words that carry us through everything. Live... live in the moment. Cherish everything. Love... love with all that you have. Laugh.... you have to have laughter. Laughter makes everything better. I love having that sign in our home, right by our doorway. It’s always in sight and it’s always a reminder, especially on days when we need a little reminder.

I have to admit, the terrible news over the past two days has hit pretty close to home.  The helicopter crash and then the poor girl from Freehold. Thinking of these families and what they are going through.... my heart aches for them.  Did I know them? No. But their stories...  it could happen to anyone. Just makes you realize how important it is to live, love, and laugh with the ones you love the most because you just never know what’s lurking around the corner in this crazy life.

Kobe Bryant. His daughter. All I can think about is what their last moments must have been like and how his wife and his other three daughters go on. We all fly in airplanes. With our kids, without our kids. I remember the only time we took Matthew on an airplane, I was a nervous wreck.  Before Matthew, I was fine on an airplane. Taking Matthew on an airplane... totally different story. I saw it as putting our lives in danger, or more, putting his life in danger. During the flight we hit a bit of turbulence and I don’t think I’ve ever held onto Matthew so tight, so nervous, so anxious to get on the ground. It took me a long time to be able to get on a plane again. A few weeks ago I did fly again, but by myself. I’m not so sure I can get on an airplane with my kids again anytime soon.

Now let’s talk about Stephanie Parze. The girl from Freehold, just a town over from where I live, who went missing on the night of October 30th 2019.  I didn’t know her, but the night before she disappeared it’s a known fact that she was at a comedy club called the Stress Factory in New Brunswick. The show that night wasn’t a comedy show, though. It was a medium who performed and did readings for people in the audience. The medium read quite a few people in the room that night. How do I know? Oh, because I was at that same show. I was part of the same audience, along with my father. We didn’t get a reading but sure enjoyed listening to those who did. And I clearly remember Stephanie being one of them. She spoke that night and was spoken to and her family members around her did too. I saw her sitting with her family, or whoever she was with. She was over to the right, just a few tables away from where we were sitting. I saw her face. I heard her speak. Then, just a few hours later it was reported that she went missing. Then today, the truth revealed itself. I saw the Facebook posts on our local township pages and saw the press conference that was held today, and again although I didn’t know her personally, it became real to me that I saw the face and heard the voice and was sitting so close to someone who was murdered. Left lying in the woods on the side of a road I travel everyday. A place I’ve passed by more than two handfuls of times over the past 3 months since she disappeared. Drove right by her. This poor girl. This poor family.  This crazy, crazy world. This is all just too close to home.

These kinds of things make you think. They make you think about how precious life really is and how we need to just stop stressing over little insignificant things and just slow down and live in the moment. Hold your babies. Rock them to sleep if you must. Play Nintendo with your kids. Put your phone down and be present. Get on the floor with them. These are the times you can’t ever get back.  And I know first hand, how everything can change in an instant. Thankfully with all I’ve been through over the last year, I’m still here to tell my story. But I hate to say it, my family could have been grieving. They could’ve been the ones to understand what these families are going through... maybe not the ways that these 2 things happened, but to know the feelings. Thank G-D my treatments worked and my family won’t have to suffer the way these families are. But no one knows what the future holds for any of us.

So live, love and laugh. As much as you possibly can. And do yourself another favor and lay off of the judgement. Why are you better than anyone else? What makes your way of thinking right? Just live. Live your life. Cherish your moments and your loved ones. Everyone is just doing their best to stay afloat in this world. Judgement brings dislike. Judgement brings hate. Hate is what destroys us. We have to do better.... especially for our kids.

My thoughts and prayers are with the families that are grieving right now. 🙏💗