Wednesday May 15, 2019

I’m currently sitting in a chair being hooked up to all my meds for my 10th infusion. My actual chemo days here aren’t too rough anymore. I usually have my favorite chair saved for me. I take out my water, phone, blanket and I get myself all situated. I’m a pro now. I’ve also gotten to know some of the nurses here and as much as I’d rather be anywhere else, it’s nice talking with them when I come in.

I woke up this morning, helped get my kids ready for their day and then once everyone was gone and my house was quiet, I saw the sun shining and decided I would get out myself  for a bit. So at 8:30 this morning I made a return at Target, then I browsed shoes for Matthew at DSW, and I picked up all my refilled prescriptions. I was back home by 9:50, just in time to sit for 10 min and then get all my things together to leave for my infusion. It’s nice getting out the morning of my infusion- I get to do normal things before the craziness starts.

Last night I decided to join in on a cancer support group, which is held at the office where my breast surgeon is located. I’ve actually been to 3 different support groups throughout the past few months, but they all meet once a month so I go to a few of them so I get more than one meeting. I like going.  I find it so helpful and I find myself at ease talking with people of all different ages and stages. These people are now people who I can relate to and being around people and talking with people who are like me, who have been through this or who are going through anything I’m going through right now, it really is therapeutic. It’s my new normal. I’ve always considered myself to be an open minded, sympathetic and compassionate person when it comes to others but I find myself more so now, than I’ve ever been. We laugh together, we cry together, we understand each other. This is my new normal and I’m starting to come to terms with it. There are members of these support groups who have been coming for years because they like to be there to help new members. So even when my journey is all over, I’ll be one of those people who go to the groups to support new members. I like that I’ll be able to do that.

While driving home last night after this meeting the sky was so pretty. It was raining with storm clouds behind me with sunny skies to the left of me and I said to myself this is the perfect rainbow sky. And as I came to a red light I glanced up and there it was- a rainbow.  Now I’ve never been a super spiritual person, but I feel like after the conversations and what had been discussed at this meeting I was at, this rainbow was intended for me to see. I took it as a sign that yes it’s a long road, but there’s a light at the end of this tunnel, which I know, and good things come after storms.  My storm is almost over...💗💪🏻🙏