Sunday May 12, 2019

Here we are at Sunday night again. I’ve made it through another weekend after a treatment. Treatment #9 out of 12 and I’m almost feeling back to myself, but this one was a rough one.  Tomorrow I’ll wake up and feel a little better and by Tuesday I’ll be ok. Then it’s Wednesday and we start all over again. Weeks go by so fast, which is good because I’m almost at that finish line. Wednesday will be treatment #10! But as fast as they go, it doesn’t leave me too much time to recover and just like this past #9, these last few treatments are going to hit me hard. Wednesdays after my treatment I’m sleepy, but I’m good. Thursdays, I’m ok. Thursdays late at night, that’s when everything starts to creep in and I know it’s starting when my eyes start getting hazy. This time my head hurt like never before. Fridays I wake up and that’s when it really hits me but this time was different. By Friday evening I don’t think there was actually one part of me or muscle in my body that didn’t hurt. From my head, to my fingers, to my toes, my eyes and my eyelids. Everything hurt.  Thank goodness for medicine and the ability to sleep through it. I slept all day Friday and just about 12 hours Friday night to Saturday morning. I woke up Saturday morning and thought I was ok for a bit, but then later morning it all crept back in and I went back to sleep for awhile. By Saturday evening the pains had decreased enough for me to go out with Jason for a pre Mother’s Day dinner, but 2 hours out and that was all I could do. It felt so nice to be out for a bit, but I couldn’t wait to take medicine and lay down. Thankfully, as the days go on, the pains seem to decrease, except for the neuropathy in my fingers, my the pains that come and go in my back and shoulders, and my feet hurt if I’m on them too long. Today was Mother’s Day and I managed to enjoy the day, despite these lingering side effects. I played with Matthew, snuggled Ryan for a nap, went shopping by myself for a bit, and had a nice evening with my family for dinner. It was nice to just forget about cancer for awhile.

Tomorrow is Monday and I have a few appointments. Tuesday I’ll spend the day with Ryan.  Then it’s Wednesday again. As I said earlier, I was told by my oncology nurses and other people who have gone through the chemo treatment that I’m going through that these last few are the roughest. I now know why, but at least I now know what to expect and now for this last little stretch, I just have to learn to manage my days as best as I can, with what I’m experiencing. And that means with young kids, on the days I’m feeling almost back to myself, it’s pushing these side effects to the side as best as I can to get through these days. The best is when this horrible rain stops and I can get outside for a bit. Last Tuesday, the day before treatment #9, it was beautiful out. I was tired, but I actually took Ryan to the park and ran after him for almost 2 hours. That was the most I was on my feet with him in months and it felt amazing, until later when I couldn’t move lol, but it sure was worth it. Later that evening when Jason came home, we took the kids in the backyard and we played some more. I sat and watched a lot, but I pushed Ryan on his swing for a bit and kicked a soccer ball with Matthew. It was one of the best days I’d had in awhile. I need more of my feel good days to be like that. Soon enough though, this will all be done and I’ll have plenty of feel good days.

So I know I can do this and I will get through it, but keep all your love, support, and positive vibes coming!! It helps get me through!  3 more treatments to go! 💗💪🏻🙏